Suckerville by Chris Sorensen

JD Speers is on a legendary losing streak: his wife left, the cops won’t quit circling, and now bloodsucking leech-people are turning his favorite dive bar into an all-you-can-drain buffet. With his reckless buddy Rowdy and a crew of half-drunk regulars at Doc’s Dockside Tavern, JD has to stop the suckers before they turn the Mississippi River red.